I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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