I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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