if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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