I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
