Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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