2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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