absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Everclear isn't food dammit
Let the clothes fall where they may.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
