I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
