Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
