Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
