i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
