More tranny stories later!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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