My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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