hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dick very happy bro
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
