were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
