I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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