Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
