my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
