well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
