remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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