we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
