You're completely useless in the revolution.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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