I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
