I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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