At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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