yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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