Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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