I've blown a few things in my day
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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