I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
