Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
