Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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