Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
