Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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