Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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