Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize