but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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