Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
vagina is talking i cant
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
