It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
try to milk me bitch
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
