During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
