How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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