i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
