also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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