I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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