My friends, they love my intelligence
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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