It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize