Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
