She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
