You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize