i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
