i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
