Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sext me about skeletons
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
