Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
