would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
