idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The Olympian is in my bed
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