Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
