just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
