How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
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