You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
