You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
