just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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