She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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