Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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