just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
