I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
