the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
