tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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